In August, I married the lovely Niall and Kelsey in a beautiful intimate wedding at Pilgrim's Rest in Rye.

This love story began in the corridors of their high school…for Kelsey, at least. She had a crush on Niall, who was in the year above her. When their friends started seeing each other after they left school, Kelsey plucked up the courage to send Niall a message on Facebook, which read: “Niall Warren, you’re really fit”. You can imagine Kelsey’s glee when she received this reply: “Kelsey McCann, you’re really fit too.” Her long-anticipated dream – after practically stalking Niall since year 7 - had come true!

They’ve been together ever since.

Having already married legally in 2020 in a tiny covid ceremony, they decided to exchange watches instead of rings. When you get together young, the risk is you’ll outgrow each other. But with time, they are only growing together, their love deepening more. The watches stood as a reminder that time had only strengthened them.

It was a lovely, emotional, intimate ceremony that I will remember for a long time.

I caught up with Kelsey recently to find out more about their day.

How did you find out about celebrant ceremonies and what made you decide to have one?

As a lover of stories, and a romantic, it did feel jarring that someone that hadn’t spent any time with us would perform our ceremony — it never felt quite right. I wasn’t keen on the limited choices you would have around your day.

We had a tiny legal wedding in 2020 and had that experience of it not being tailored to us in any way. When we looked at holding another day to celebrate our wedding in 2023, our priories had changed dramatically. The ceremony became the thing we didn’t want to compromise on.

Not being able to use the venue we originally hoped for, the ceremony became the focus. We saw it as a way we could tell our story in a way we may not feel confident to stand up in front of our friends and family and do so ourselves. A way for it to really capture who we are as people and bring that sentimental side to the day. It would allow us the freedom for the type of day we wanted and we believed the ceremony style sets the tone for the rest of the day.

It was important to find & chose the right person to perform this and we definitely found them in Roxy. Choosing the right celebrant is so important, we felt Roxy fit our colourful, animal loving vibe, whilst having the beaming confidence and personality to lead our day that we can lack as quiet people.

We’re so glad we opted for this type of ceremony. While experiencing both kinds and seeing value in them both, there’s nothing like having a ceremony that reflects you as people and the reason you’re standing there today. It was definitely the highlight of our day and was so meaningful for us. We loved the freedom it allowed for us to shine how we wished and to make the memories we’d previously missed out on.

How was the process of creating your wedding ceremony?

We already knew what we’d like, we just needed the right person to execute it and to offer advice for the best way to structure things and Roxy did just that. It’s really easy to talk to her and she brings lots of ideas to the table, whilst listening to who you are and the type of day you’re searching for.

I think she realised quite quickly we were both quiet and it would be more of a romantic, storytelling ceremony, than an all singing all dancing one. We aren’t great at talking as opposed to writing, so found it so helpful to have the initial meeting with Roxy and then have a detailed questionnaire to fill in, as this enabled us to fill in a lot of the things we’d have missed or that maybe came out differently to how we meant face-to-face.

Receiving our ceremony draft is something we’ll always remember, we laughed and cried and it just felt so special.

Looking back at the day, how did the ceremony feel?

As people who suffer from anxiety, it removed a lot of this knowing we already knew the person at the end of the aisle who would be delivering our ceremony. Roxy came and chatted with us both and it helped our nerves. She was quick to make little on the day decisions to make things run smoother and we wouldn’t have changed a thing about our ceremony.

Roxy delivered it so beautifully, we really felt like the only two people in the room. We felt even the people closest to us learnt things about us and our story and we don’t think it would have felt as personal or perfect for us without Roxy as our celebrant.

Despite many nerves from me (Niall said I was like a bumble bee buzzing down the aisle I was shaking so much), the room felt like the calm hub we hoped it would, full of our love for each other and it was so lovely to see our ideas come into fruition. The ceremony was our highlight of the day and they’re the memories we’ll cherish forever!

What was the most special part of your ceremony and why?

It’s funny, the thing we were most anxious about was our vows. We both hate public speaking so were considering not writing them ourselves; they ended up being the favourite part of our day. Roxy encouraged us to write something personal, even if it was very short and we’re so glad we did.

I realised the reason we didn’t want to do them was because we were very nervous about speaking, but that we’d be sad not to have done them if we chose not to. Reframing it that way really helped us. If we hadn’t wanted to do them and were nervous, it wouldn’t have been worth the anxiety. But knowing we would really value personal vows to each other made it something to lean into anyway.

We included our favourite films and tv shows that were memorable in our relationship and included quotes from them, altering them slightly to fit our story. Roxy was there to make sure they flowed, so we didn’t have to peak at each others if we didn’t want to.

I re-wrote lines from You’ve got Mail, one of the first and favourite films we watched together, that reflected parts of how we got together. Niall, who hates writting, borrowed quotes from my favourite romantic men to tell the story he didn’t think he could. He referenced Beethoven’s love letters, Mr Knightley, and Thomas Thorne-the self proclaimed poet from BBC Ghosts.

It was so funny to see Niall as the ever dramatic Thomas Thorne and I love the effort he gave to creating them-despite it being so far out of his comfort zone. They were so funny and heartfelt, whilst being true to him. We’re definitely looking at a way to get them up on our wall somewhere.

What would you say to couples considering a celebrant ceremony?

Absolutely. Just go for it. Find the right person for you (we’re obviously very heavily biased towards Roxy) and you’ll be so glad that you did. It makes all the difference to your ceremony and will turn it into a part of the day that people just can’t wait to get through — guests and couples alike, to being back at the centre of your day, just as it should be. It will reflect you are people and why you’re standing where you are today, exactly the reason why you’re all gathered under that roof (or the sky).

How did your ceremony go down with you guests?

The majority of our guests had never been to a tailored ceremony before, and commented how refreshing it was to witness something so much more personal and that reflected us as a couple, as well as individuals. That it took it from being the boring part of the day, to one they felt they learnt something about us and could share in. People commented how great Roxy was personally and our venue asked for her details to be able to recommend to others. They too commented it was the most personal ceremony they’d been part of.

How would you describe the vibe/style/look & feel of your day

The style of our day was to heavily include nature and the seasons, with a vintage feeling of nostalgic moments of the past. From using a typewriters to pen our guests love letters, to locally sourced wildflowers that we displayed in vintage glassware and British animal vases, it was a day full of little glimmers of us.

What's the best piece of advice you would give to other couples getting married?

Make sure it’s the kind of day YOU both want, opposed to what others want of expect. Too many opinions are too much, like the saying “too many cooks spoil the broth”. Remember it’s a day that reflects you both as a couple and why you’re making this commitment. You will never be able to please everyone, or make sure you’re serving every single persons favourite dish — take that pressure off of yourselves and you’ll enjoy it a whole load more!

Tell me about your wedding location. How did you decide on the venue?

Because of our many wedding woes and not being able to marry in our original choice of venue due to a fire, we ended up searching for something very different from the type of venue we originally sought. We scaled the day down dramatically and wanted somewhere really intimate and cosy, that felt like it had always been there.

We wanted a lot of control over our day and finding The Pilgrims Rest, allowed us the intimate and personalised day we were looking for in the end. We loved the history of the building and it felt like we could put down some of the heaviness of our wedding woes when we found it.

If you could do the day all over again, is there anything you’d change?

Nothing of great importance; I don’t think any day will be perfect, there’s always little things, like, I sometimes wish I’d worn my glasses so I could see more clearly, but it’s also what helped most with my nerves!

We always wanted a midweek wedding as Thursdays are our favourite days for some reason, but in hindsight a weekend wedding may have enhanced our day — with so many people of our guest list of 30 having to work the next day, people weren’t as relaxed as they may have been on the weekend — especially as people had to travel home as our venue didn’t have accommodation.

Less people could let their hair down and most people needed to leave a lot earlier than on a weekend. It didn’t affect our day much (as we’re a pair of grannies and like to be tucked up in bed early with our tea and animals) but it did cut our day shorter than we expected. If you were party people, it could have made you feel you’d missed out on that real celebration part!